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Wonder City will almost certainly return next week. I'm hoping. :)


The Prince was attempting to sit in Christopher’s lap.

Tom found this both fascinating and deeply worrying on a level she wasn’t sure she wanted to examine. The Dean was poking at her food and the brightly-dressed “nobles” around the table (two greybeards, three ladies of bosom, and a tall saturnine man whose face was somewhat different than the others) were chattering and eating as though this were a perfectly normal occurrence.

Tom couldn’t help it. She said to the overly-floral peasant woman who was acting as a waitress, “Does... the Prince usually act like this?”

“Oh, this one does,” she said, and refilled Tom’s wineglass with a vaguely purple substance.

This one?” asked Tom.

“Why, yes,” said the blue-eyed woman, looking blank and blue-eyed.

The Dean, staring at something on the end of her fork as though it had just made a remark not admissible in polite company, said, “I expect they’ve got several.”

She said, “But how did they know that this one--”

The Dean said, “Christopher made it fairly clear after the kissing incident.”

Tom didn't want to think about the kissing incident. It made her want to giggle madly.

One of the ladies of bosom turned to Tom and said, conversationally, “The Kingdom welcomes all equally, without discrimination as to race, gender, sexuality, religion, shape, feeding preferences, biostatus, or planet of origin.”

Further down the table, the Prince offered to feed Christopher slices of something in bright aniline colors... possibly crystallized fruit? Christopher looked dubious.

Tom said, “I’m glad it’s okay to be Takei here, but I’m still a little weirded out. Where are the other Princes?”

“What other Princes, dear?” asked one of the greybeards, around a mouthful of food. Tom noticed that he had dropped some on his velveteen tunic.

“Um, his--” she gestured at the Prince, who was batting his eyelashes at Christopher in a way which would have been over-the-top in a Bugs Bunny crossdressing scene, “...brothers?”

“There’s only one Prince at a time,” said the saturnine man, adding, under his breath, "Thank Godmother." Tom looked at his black hair and widow’s peak and decided that he usually played villains, or perhaps morally ambiguous viziers. Then she processed what he said, and had an uncomfortable image of a closet stocked with Princes, hanging on hooks, waiting to be taken down and used.

The Dean put down her fork, her face consumed with an expression that suggested all her worst expectations had been confirmed, just as the Prince crowed, “A kiss! A kiss! Now you must go on a quest for me!”

Christopher, to give him credit, looked more distressed than Tom had ever seen him look before. “It’s been lovely, but--” he started.

I think you must go to the Glass Mountain for me! And bring me back the Firebird!” said the Prince, standing with one foot on his chair and one on the dinner table, striking a pose. “And don’t you love my boots? They’re just smashing!” He kicked over a decanter, as though to illustrate the pun.

The other guests broke into polite applause. The saturnine man looked at the prince as though measuring him for concrete shoes. The prince bowed, simpering.

“Is this some kind of burlesque?” asked Christopher plaintively. “I have to tell you, I love camp, don’t get me wrong, but I’m really uncomfortable with this.”

“The Kingdom welcomes all equally, without discrimination as to race, gender, sexuality, religion, shape, feeding preferences, biostatus, or planet of origin,” said the Prince, as he sat down.

Tom sat up and put her goblet back on the table. “What?” she said.

The greybeard sitting next to her turned and repeated, “The Kingdom welcomes all equally, without discrimination as to race, gender, sexuality, religion, shape, feeding preferences, biostatus, or planet of origin.”

“Yes, please remember,” said the saturnine man, as he stood up, rearranging his black and silver tunic and very obviously checking to make sure the knife concealed beneath it was still there, “that the Kingdom welcomes all equally, without discrimination as to race, gender, sexuality, religion, shape, feeding preferences, biostatus, or planet of origin.” He bowed to the table, and left.

“Fuck me running,” said Christopher, his voice shaking.

“I adore horseback activities!” said the Prince.









Date: 2012-09-05 07:04 pm (UTC)
the_rck: (Default)
From: [personal profile] the_rck
That's more than a little surreal. No wonder our heroes are disturbed.

Thanks for writing!

Date: 2012-09-06 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] interleaper.livejournal.com
Sounds like they might be borrowing some practices from the Earldom of Frazer. Long and ex-royal pig on the fork there?

Aniline! Learned a new word.

Date: 2013-05-02 09:07 pm (UTC)
the_leaky_pen: (Default)
From: [personal profile] the_leaky_pen
both aniline and saturnine were new to me. :D

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