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[personal profile] wonder_city
Ghouls and Cannibals

Those asshole producers from It's a Wonderful House tried to call me.

They tried to call my black para ass because they'd "heard" that I had been part of that whole midnight disaster that ended up with three people dead (though only two dead bodies) and a bunch more injured. I apparently hurt their fee-fees by not calling them back, so they started calling once a day, then twice a day. They just wanted information, they said. They knew I was a telepath, they said. I had more information than anyone else, they said. They could pay me, they said. They could give me a nice television, or a car, or, gosh, even the Wonderful House itself.

When honey didn't work, they tried threatening me. With subpoenas. I finally took one of their calls so I could laugh at them in person.

"You do realize," I told them in the conference call, "since you claim to know all sorts of things about me, that I am legally unable to testify in court, or even to show my face in the courthouse, don't you?"

There was a long silence, punctuated by murmuring I couldn't hear with my ears, but could very well hear otherwise.

What does she mean? Producer #1 said.

No one can be legally unable to show in court, Producer #2 said. Can they?

There was a click and all noise on their side ceased as someone hit the mute button.

Well, technically, yeeeeessss, Attorney for the Producers said. If she's, um, covered by the Jane Liberty Law.

... Is she that powerful? Producer #1 said. Actually, I think he wrote it down so there was no way I could hear it should the mute fail.

The guy I talked to said she was the most powerful telepath around, Producer #2 said. But he didn't say she was THAT powerful.

"I am that powerful," I said. "I am legally a Class 10, boys. Just by talking to you, I can now find you and read your minds anywhere in this galaxy." Which is a little exaggeration. Maybe. I've never really tried it with someone I only barely know.

Oh, fuck, Producer #1 said.

The mute came off. "Well, we'll discuss the matter and get back to you, Ms. Scott, thankyouverymuchforyourtime," the lawyer said, and then he hung up.

I laughed myself nearly sick, but then had to go for a swim to scrub the producer smarm out of my head.

---

Note from the Author:

As I said earlier in the week, I'll be posting on a bit of an accelerated schedule over the next several weeks; you find out why soon enough. The plan is for 3 (short) episodes next week!

And remember, if you've ever wanted a Team Simon t-shirt (or tank top, or mug, or water bottle), just check out Wonder City Wonders, my new store at Cafe Press.

Please remember to vote for WCS!









Date: 2012-01-06 04:22 pm (UTC)
contrarywise: Glowing green trees along a road (Default)
From: [personal profile] contrarywise
Bwahahahaha! Oh, Renata, never change. ♥

Date: 2012-01-07 04:52 pm (UTC)
heavenscalyx: (Default)
From: [personal profile] heavenscalyx
:) I can guarantee she will continue to kick ass and take names.

Date: 2012-01-06 07:36 pm (UTC)
kore: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kore
"I am that powerful," I said. "I am legally a Class 10, boys. Just by talking to you, I can now find you and read your minds anywhere in this galaxy."

RENATA <333


(also, aww, Jane.)

Date: 2012-01-07 04:53 pm (UTC)
heavenscalyx: (Default)
From: [personal profile] heavenscalyx
I thought the little callback to Jane would be appropriate here. There's a whole RAFT of laws around the really powerful paras, I expect.

*laugh*

Date: 2012-01-07 09:46 am (UTC)
ysabetwordsmith: Cartoon of me in Wordsmith persona (Default)
From: [personal profile] ysabetwordsmith
ROTFLMAO

Re: *laugh*

Date: 2012-01-07 04:53 pm (UTC)
heavenscalyx: (Default)
From: [personal profile] heavenscalyx
:)

HAH!

Date: 2012-01-08 05:28 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Is this the part where I get to bring out the gamer speech and say; "Owned"?
I really hope so...

-Ziggy

Date: 2012-01-29 01:37 am (UTC)
the_leaky_pen: (Default)
From: [personal profile] the_leaky_pen
Win! Renata is a wonderful human. <3

Jane Liberty Law

Date: 2012-11-17 02:59 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Wait. So in a court of law, where the whole idea is to get to the truth, Jane Liberty is forbidden from entering a court room because she'd FORCE EVERYONE TO TELL THE TRUTH??? Yeah, I could see where lawyers and politicians both would hate her being around.

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